Win over Mr. Procrastination-Monkey kilometer by kilometer

Thank you for all messages. I will take time to respond within the next days; but be assured I am already starting to pray. If you want to hop in, you still can. 

 While I was writing my thesis, I obvioulsy started reading articles online about procrastination. I found this amazing essay by the blogger Wait but why (part 1 "Why procrastinators procrastinate" and part 2 "How to beat procrastination").

What really stuck with me was the visual imagination of the monkey inside of me who wants to have fun, and therefore always seeks the easiest way of gratification.
Before you have made progress on a task, he will want to just chill and hang out and do nothing. But once you fought yourself through the most part of something, the monkey becomes your friend because it also has fun when stuff gets done. 

I thought of that during my biking days a lot.

Every morning, I was seriously overwhelmed by the 100 kilometers I planned to ride on my bike. How am I ever going to do that? I looked at the notes I took and all these villages and cities I was supposed to go through and it freaked me out. There were so many.
Then you get on your bike and you bike for a few minutes and it says on the tachometer "0.8 km". And you know.. there are more than 99 km to go. Plus kilometers if you get lost.

As I did not have a choice at all, meaning: If I wanted to get home, and also, if I wanted to get towards the place I picked to sleep (if I had one), the only thing that will help me in this very moment is: Keep pedalling. Just keep moving your feet.
So I kept moving. And then, at some point, the tachometer said: "11.2 km". And then, it said: "24.5". I still felt like the whole day was in front of me. But by then, I also already knew - having done nearly 25 km means: only three times 25 more to go. I can do this.

On the hard days, on the days I felt sick and tired, I couldn't look at the tachometer. I stared ahead on the street and just moved my legs - and one day, that's when I had to think of the article mentionned above because I realized: You make progress, if you do the task you are supposed to do - even if you do it extremely slow and unmotivated. You will get there.
I got home.

And then, there is always this moment where it tips. Usually around "65 km", I realized: I am nearly there. I'm closer to suceeding today than to failing. I can do this.

And the monkey and I flew across the French countryside.

It's one of the most important lessons I learned on my trip.
You get to this "tipping point" only by being persistent and just moving your feet. 
Keep going. Just do what you are supposed to do (and don't do anything else. Don't start walking or swimming or dancing when you are on a bike!). You WILL make progress. You will get there. 

It's the key to following through with plans, even with an adventure like this. This whole thing started out as a note in my journal. Then googling how many kilometer it would be and how much time I would have. Just to reassure myself that this is a stupid idea and that it's not possible. It didn't hurt to check these things, but they were already progress on the way to get there.
At some point, I started asking people about bikes. And bike trips.
And suddenly, I was buying a bike. And there I went.
This is how it starts. So just start moving your feet slowly. And once you are in it, keep moving.

Because you will get home.

this is quite practical for a final post. but if it gets you moving (if you want to get moving), it's all that needs to be said on here at the end of my bike trip :)

thank you so much for listening. 

I hope you know what you can't do...

Sarah, my smart friend, sent me a message four days before I arrived. I read it in Dijon, and it said: "I hope this trip makes you realize how capable your are. But also, I hope you learn what you can't do. How much you need other people."

CHAPEAU TO YOU.

Oh yes. I have learnt that. Even though I did this "alone", I could not have done this alone.
I have recieved so much help these past weeks, it's ridicoulous. So many friends and strangers helped me with my plan, there is no way I can ever give back all the love and support.

But I will try to.

Remember when I asked you about your dream? What is on your heart when you read about my adventure? What do you want to do? (If you don't have one, don't worry. No pressure ;)) -

.... but if there is something you dream of doing and you don't feel brave or capable or strong enough, let me tell you this:
 
1. I went to bike nearly 1400 km and I didn't know how to change a tire (still don't know...). So if you don't feel prepared, feel free to go back to this post - and be reminded: It's about your heart, not (all) about preperation. 

2. If you say it out loud, even just to yourself, this is when it starts. See this picture below? I was sitting in a café in April, reading this book, and I wrote down in my journal: "Bike tour home from Biarritz end of September?" I did not at all think I will do it, I just thought: Here's an idea.
But once I wrote it down, it sort of became a plan. You have nothing to lose by writing it down, but you can win an amazing adventure.

April 2014.

3. I needed God for this adventure. I had this blog, and texts from friends - but when I was desperate, when I was feeling weak and annoyed, it was between God, Steve and I.
God dreams big and he loves it when we do what's on our heart. Fill God in on your plans. And that's why I will go for a big walk on Thursday and I want to pray for your dreams.

So, my phone works again - and- here is my phone number:
zero zero four nine - one five two - two six five four - six zero nine five*

I don't need to know your name, nor the reason for your dream, nor if you believe in God or not - just please text me what you dream of doing.
I will go for a big walk on Thursday morning and I will pray for all the dreams I receive by then. Really, just get it out there to me, it's safe with me and I won't laugh at anything (because no one laughed at me) and I am excited to see you guys conquering the world.

It's the least I can do - and also the most, because that really is how advenutres start.

So I hope by reading this you know, for your own dream,
you 1. don't need to wait until you are perfectly prepared,
2. you need to dare to say your dreams out loud to yourself
and 3. it could be of help if you talk to God about it. Or let me do it.

Looking forward to your messages. 
Tomorrow, I will blog about Mr. Procrastination-Monkey, who is a very dangerous breed.

- Also - if you want some encouraging advice (I don't know anything about bikes, but I know some stuff about adventure) or some ideas concerning your dream in any form, feel free to send me an e-mail. I would love to be of help: rosarollt@gmail.com
 
*yes, I am aware it's not the smartest thing to give our your number on the internet to everyone who can read, but to be honest, everyone who reads this blog might already know I am not exactly all "smart"... ;)

I simply love cows.

Day 13: Arrived. Angekommen.

(post from yesterday - sorry to everyone who worried if everything is okay. I arrived safe and sound yesterday - but then, I was busy celebrating.. ;))


Day 13, Sunday: 145 kilometer, Ingwiller to HEIDELBERG - You have reached your final destination.
Hero of the day: My sister Elke who has already moved all my stuff to my new room.
Tool of the day: The German language. Because I can finally talk to people without feeling like a 5-year old.
What's new: I'm home. Also, first time I really did cry on my trip ...read below.
Soundtrack of the day (listen to this when you read this post):  Dotan - Home - thank you, Becka, my faithful friend! Come visit me.

Danke, Hannah! :) Ich freu mich auf euch.

Today was one of the hardest days on my trips. The first 50km went through a hilly forest area with lots of wind, in the afternoon, it was hot, then it started to rain and I got very, very, very lost in a forest. A drunken man on a bike who asked three times "Are you not scared?" led me out of the forest at 6:30 pm... But I made it.

I arrived.

In the pouring rain, around 7:15 pm, I saw the street I am going to live in now, and I found my "new" door bell, and it was only then, that I realized: I made it. I biked more than 1350 kilometers across France in 13 days, and here I am, and I am starting a new life in a new town. And all of this feels normal. And crazy. Life is so fast when you don't bike!
My amazing sister suprised my with a furnished room in the new appartment, and my whole family showed up - and an hour later, I already had forgotten that I used to be one of those people "on the road".
I am back in life.

There will be two more blog posts coming, one tomorrow and one on Wednesday. Just because there are two more things on my heart I really want to say. Also, I have not forgotten about the thing I have asked you to do ;)... (write down a dream you have. Doesn't matter if it's big or small. "Ask this guy out" or "Build a house" or "Say sorry to my Grandma" or "Learn how to swim" or "Create an art exhibition"....)
So tomorrow evening, come back here and read why a friend hoped I would learn on this trip how to fail. And on Wednesday, I will want to talk about Mr. Procrastination-Monkey.


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thank you so so so much for your support, everyone. It was incredibly helpful to have this blog and get supportive messages, e-mails and comments.
Four special girls need to get a medal for their support during the past two weeks.
Ina - who prayed with me via text message nearly every night. And would have massaged me if I had been next to her.
Elke - who made sure I wasn't going insane by checking on me all the time, all while secretly moving my stuff into my new room :)
Anna - who was my personal bike and health consultant and never laughed at me, only with me about my stupid questions
And then - stunning Sarah, my hiding place and my stepping stone and the one who makes my life so very fun and deep. Thank you so much for your practical and mental help!

And then.. the One and Only. Who was with me during every moment, right by my heart and my moving feet. The One, who made me strong and brave and weak and scared and who showed me this beautiful world. Thank you, Lord.

The day my dad walked to India

Day 12, Saturday: Epinal to Ingwiller (Alsace), 134,5 km.

What’s new: People here speak my language! The names of the villages around here sound so German.

Hero of the day: The nice receptionist in a hotel in Epinal I went into only to print more directions...

Tool of the day: The tachometer. It was fun seeing the number grow on there today.
Soundtrack: Queen – Don’t stop me now

Recently; on my bike (of course), I thought of one of my earliest childhood memories. 

We were on vacation in Leukerbad (Switzerland) and my mother dropped my dad off at a a hiking trail. I was in the car with them and when I asked what he was doing, my mom said: “Papa is going to walk to india”.

There was a little village called Indien (German word for India) in the area. I don’t think I was that naive to really think my dad would be walking to another continent, but I do remember that I pictured him next to elephants and with orientalic music in the background anyway, just for a second. 

It made me think that my dad is very strong and brave, but I do also remember thinking: “It’s probably possible, somehow. My dad could walk to real India, if he wanted to.” (Geography is still not my strength...)

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Today, I would like to share some wisdom of Paolo Coelho, the Portugese writer and author of “The Alchemist”, which I read this summer. He talks about why people don’t pursue their goals in the foreword of the book.

“There are four obstacles.
First: we are told from childhood onward that everything we want to do is impossible.

As I told you, there might have been a point in my life where I thought that my dad was walking from Switzerland to India within one afternoon.
In general, I feel like I was never really taught about “what’s possible” and “what’s not possible”. My parents just let me try, and sometimes, things worked out, sometimes they didn’t. In my head, living means: “Try and you will see if it works."
I am sharing this here, not to brag about how awesome my childhood was (it was!). I share this here to encourage you and to tell you: Most things are possible. Just try and see, then you will know.

The second obstacle: love. We know what we want to do, but are afraid of hurting those around us by abandoning everything in order to pursue our dream.

Oh yes. Big obstacle for me. When I started to think about this trip, I knew I would need a lot of support and help, such as: How to get my bike up to Biarritz? How is my suitcase getting home? I knew I would be kind of annoying for a lot of people around me with these plans...
But mostly, the problem was this: I knew my parents were up for a few very sleepless nights if I did this. Seriously worried. And if something happened to me, it would hurt them so much – only because I wanted to “try” something? Is that fair? I was very aware of how I put myself at risk, but others would have the consequences (if I needed to be picked up in the middle of nowhere, if I needed medical aid for a long time..).

mountainbike-magazin.de
he seems to know what he is doing..... ;)

The third obstacle: fear of the defeats we will meet on the path.

Do you notice how he writes: The fear of the defeats – not the actual defeats? The defeats on the path don’t stand in our way as much as the fear of it. 

Here is my biggest fear I had before this whole trip: Sitting somewhere in the forest by myself with a flat tire. (This might sound light a little fear to all of you who know how to change a tire. But I am being serious. I considered not going every time I thought of this scene.)
So far, it hasn’t happened yet. Even if it happens tomorrow, I will find a solution (and arrive Monday the latest). Everytime I think “Thank God - no flat tire so far” I can't help but to also think: What if I hadn’t gone because of this fear? I did nearly 1300km without a flat tire so far (which is crazy!!! You have to have a flat tire if you are biking this far).. Your biggest fear might happen; but it also might not happen. Consider both.

The fourth obstacle: the fear of realizing the dream for which we fought all our lives.”

You might have read so far, and thought once or twice:  “Uta, you are not there yet, why do you give us advice about reaching our goals?” This fourth obstacle is exactly why I am writing about this tonight. The fear of realizing the dream. It sounds like a ridicoulous obstacle, but I think it is the most important one. This fear is real.

If I think about tomorrw, I feel sick. I don’t feel ready, I don’t think I get it yet, and I don’t really know what to do with this whole thing. Arriving is scary, because I am so familiar now with being on the way. Even checking the route for tomorow feels weird: It’s the first time I am not picking a town, or trying to find a place to sleep. 

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I work hard for this blog, I bike all day and then, at night, I write. So now I think it is time that I can ask you something to do, right? Here is your task:

I don’t think you dream of walking to India. But can I ask you to think of what you would like to experience? What do you dream of doing? While reading this blog, has there been a certain thing coming up all the time in your mind?

Please write it down, on a little piece of paper, your journal or in your phone.

Thank you.We need this for the blog post of tomorrow.

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Tomorrow, if everything goes as planned, I’ll arrive.
At 7am; Alsace-speaking Christiana is going to wake me and we will have breakfast and then we will see how far I'll get. (Using directions from this page tomorrow, 73-year old Christiana showed it to me. Much nicer than google maps which I have been using.... ;))

I will let you know.

P.S: I just google-diagnosed myself because I felt like I might have a serious problem. My left hand has been feeling numb lately; and I am not kidding you; I googled: "ebola numbness". Luckily, I found out there is a thing called "biker numbness" (literal translation - English - German)

A blinking blue dot and my heart

Day 11, Friday: 73 km, Melay to Epinal.

What’s new: There is a countdown in my head now, counting down the kilometers. It will start tomorrow with the number: 251

Tool of the day: (in remeberance) the blinking blue dot on Google Maps

Hero of the day: The Dutch couple in the room next to me, which I had asked last night to wake me today... because: no phone, no alarm clock. And Simon (Dutch pronounciation: Schimon), who got out a machine (compressor?) to refill my tire.

Soundtrack (listen to this while you read this blog post): Josh Wilson – Carry me. - And this is also a hello & big congrats to the newly engaged couple Jule + Phil!! You are so perfect for each other, it makes my heart rejoice. Can’t wait to celebrate with you!

If you had asked me two days ago what the most important thing is that I carry with me, I would have answered: A blue dot. It’s in my phone and it tells me where I am.

Usually, in the morning before I leave, I load the map for the day on my Google-Maps-App. During the day, I follow my notes, and if I am not sure that I am still right, I check the blue dot on my phone. It indicates where I am, and because I know where I want to go, I can make sure I am getting closer somehow.

stole this picture from this website transrio.com.ar solely for illustration purposes (no phone, no photos..)
Now you all know how a blue dot looks like.

I am in love with this blue dot. It tells me: “Not there yet”. Or: “Careful, you are too far off the route you planned.” It’s so helpful! (I remember my big hiking trip through Germany three years ago, without Smartphone, and all these desperate moments of not exactly knowing where I am...)

Because the thing is: If I know where I want to go, but I don’t know where exactly I am on the map – then, what’s the use of the map?

I wonder whether it is this important to know where I am in my non-bike-life as well. To reach my goals, do I have to know where I stand? And if so – how do I figure that out? Siri, the lady in the iPhone, won’t know...

It’s helpful to talk to friends to learn where I am at. One time, after a walk with Becci, I realized: “Talking to you is like taking a screenshot of my heart.” If you have good friends, you might know more about yourself after talking to them.

Also a good strategy to figure out my current location in life: Chilling out on my bed and staring “wholes into the air” (literal translation of a German expression for contemplating). And then, there is praying, running, and journalling...

I want to encourage today to develop a habit of “checking the blue dot” – a habit of checking where you stand, simply so you know where to go next to reach your destination. If it’s a weekly or monthly thing depends on how many turns and decisions you have to make. But it’s cruel.

Not knowing where you are is sometimes worse than not knowing where you want to go.

Now, that my phone is dead, if you ask me now what the most important thing is that I carry with me, I would say: Nothing. 

Nothing I have with me is essential to get me home anymore. I could let go of everything I have with me - except of Steve. That sounds free and independent, but that's not how my heart feels: I miss my blinking blue dot terribly. I miss knowing where I am.

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I didn't make it as far as planned today, because I left way too late this morning, around 12:30 pm. I was so terrified that I would get lost that I just tried to hide in the hotel until the world would have forgotten about me. But the cleaning lady found me and Marcia was so friendly to print the directions for me, and so I was sent on my way. Dank je wel!

Finding my way was adventorous, but not as bad as I had feared. I simply have to take more offical streets now, and sadly, that means: Less beautiful places, more kilometers. But it's too late to give up. I can do this. 

You are more than just a person with a rain jacket

Day 10, Thursday: 99,98 km, Dijon to Melay.

What’s new: I don’t care what’s new because everything is wet!

Tool of the day: Waterproof saddlebags. At least I still have some dry clothes to wear in bed.

Hero of the day: Lady with bright lipstick.

Soundtrack (listen to this when you read my post): Clueso - Ey der Regen

I crossed three “départments” today and it rained in all three of these.

I was a living sponge: The lady wearing bright lipstick behind the counter of the chocolate store felt so sorry for me, she offered me some free coffee. When I left the little shop, there was a puddle where I had just stood.

She wasn’t the only one who felt bad for me today. Everyone who saw me, stared at me with a mixture of sympathy and confusion. “Who bikes in this rain? This is no fun! Go home, girl!”

I would have. There just wasn’t really a place to go, except of going forward. I was biking on countryside streets and I really didn’t know what to do. If I stop, who tells me the weather will be better tomorrow? Who would let me in their house? Why does Steve not have a roof?

A picture from another day - a day when there was at least a litle bit of light
(and a day my phone still worked...)

Suddenly, it hit me though: This is it, right here, this is part of doing such a trip. 

This biking thing might be one of the biggest things I’ll ever do, and biking all day in the rain belongs to it. I am simply being confronted with the uncomfortable part of my adventure. But I knew before I started this that this would be hard work, and I was also aware of the fact that I can’t control the weather.

(This sounds like I didn’t mind being wet all day. Believe me, I was not happy today and I wanted to stop all day long. I was cold and miserable and “triste”..)

For all these people in their dry cars, I was just a very unfortuntate girl in the rain. All they could see is a lonesome cowboy on a bike, a girl trying to make her way up the hill before she gets washed back down.

But they don’t know about the 10 crazy-adventorous days full of life that lie behind me. They can’t see that there are picutres of nature in my head I will think of when real life will get on my nerves. If they knew that and looked at me again, they would see someone living their dream. Even if it rains.

A rainy day in my normal, every day life (I am not talking about stormy days with hail and thunder.) is a day where I have a huge misunderstanding with a friend, or having to study for three months straight, or being sick.

But all of these rainy life days are part of this one life I get to live. These days occur because I have friends, because I am a student, because I have a body. These sometimes miserable days still get me where I want to go to, they still belong to this one life I was given. This is it, right there. We are right in the middle of it, and even though there might sometimes be a lot of rain (or hills or flat tires), it’s all part of it. Of this adventure called life.

Let me tell you this: It might look like (and feel like) you are the most pitiful person on the road, but don’t forget: You are not only the person in the rain jacket, you have also come from somehwere and you are going somewhere.

(Just make sure you know where you are going. But we will talk about that on this blog tomorrow :))

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This afternoon, I picked this Chateau in Melay to be my reward if I make it this far. I made it – and it’s charming! I have a huuuuuge room with a huuuuge bed, and at dinner, the lady of the house served us amazing homecooked food. Us, that’s four elderly Dutch couples and I. They spoke German, just for me, and I will fall asleep with their darling Dutch accent in my head...

But:

Even though I made it here - my phone didn’t make it. It died in the rain, 3 km before Melay. There is no hope.

It’s bad, it’s really bad. I use it to navigate and to find a place to sleep. I don’t think it has fully hit me yet, but tomorrow will be .. a big challenge. Good thing my French is slowly improving... ;)

Four hundred and twenty-three.

Day 9, Wednesday: 121 km, Millay to Dijon - only 423 km to go!!!!!!
What's new: I start making plans that concern life after this trip.(Like going snowboarding in 3 weeks.)
Tool of the day: Pocketknife and handy spoon. I eat 2 Avocados a day.
Hero of the day: Pascale & Alexandre made me the best breaktfast with all regional products, and young mom Marie-Luce hosts me tonight in a beautiful house downtown Dijon, which looks like the Villa Kunterbunt.
Soundtrack (listen to this while you read this post): ZAZ - Je veux

Here, this is my random-pictures-collection. I have been waiting to get an opportunity to share them with you, and because I am beyond tired today (I got very, very lost in Dijon... now I know why Aine said: Avoid towns!), this is it for today.

Majestic cow looking majestic.
This is my favorite picutre from the trip so far!

Steve, the bike, and I went shopping in intermarché.
I just did not feel like taking down the saddle bags, so I took him with me.
(Also, can't be without him anymore.)

"Pas de l'anglais" - No English.
Well, they warned you...

Eating an orange, uploading these pictures,
and listening to French music with Marie-Luce.
The life of a bike-blogger.